I have a hard time explaining my life, "I look good". This is what I hear when people ask what's new & I hit them with the need for a transplant. Something tells me that if you are not plagued with a life threatening illness then you can not fully understand what we are going through. I eat, sleep & live around my heart.
My perception of the outside world is one in which major worries are getting their plants put in, taking the dog to the vet for grooming, or washing your car. All the things that used to be on my to do list. And now my list is to pick up meds & rearrange dr visits, never go far from home because the call could come in.
I need a new heart so that I can find the authentic being stuck inside this empty shell of what used to be me. I'm becoming selfish, self loathing & numb.The phone rings but it's never the call I yearn for. I hate to be disappointed because it's just you. Just you should be enough.
My perception of the outside world is one in which major worries are getting their plants put in, taking the dog to the vet for grooming, or washing your car. All the things that used to be on my to do list. And now my list is to pick up meds & rearrange dr visits, never go far from home because the call could come in.
I need a new heart so that I can find the authentic being stuck inside this empty shell of what used to be me. I'm becoming selfish, self loathing & numb.The phone rings but it's never the call I yearn for. I hate to be disappointed because it's just you. Just you should be enough.
